An Open Letter to Scott Walker

  

Dear Scotty (can I call you Scotty?  I'm going to call you that, OK?), 

I greatly dislike you.  This should not come as a shock, given that I am a hedonist liberal woman under thirty living in San Francisco with All The Gays, and you are...Scott Walker.  I know this is Way Harsh Tai, but, Scotty, I think you are politically shortsighted, unintelligent, and unfeeling toward your fellow humans, and the fact that you are the governor of an entire state frightens me.  The way I feel about you running Wisconsin is the same way I felt during Aladdin when Jafar was the Sultan for a hot minute: scared and disgusted.  

This is how I imagine you in my nightmares.

That being said, we do have one thing in common - we are both concerned about women's health and well-being, or so we both say.  Yesterday, you signed a bill into law in Wisconsin requiring women seeking legal abortions to undergo an ultrasound before the procedure.  You signed the bill in private, doubtless to avoid the inevitable cheering crowds of grateful women who would have gathered to watch you enact a piece of legislation that will "improve... [their] ability to make an informed choice that will protect [their] physical and mental health now and in the future."  

You and the inevitable crowds of thankful women.

In general, I think it is admirable to help women protect their physical and mental health.  I am glad that we share this common goal!  However, I am a bit confused as to how forcing a woman who has made a difficult decision to end a pregnancy to undergo an unnecessary and invasive medical procedure will help her improve her physical and mental health.  Last I heard, ultrasounds did not have any magical healing powers, and making a woman feel extra-guilty about ending a pregnancy by making her look at the non-viable material in her uterus doesn't seem like it would do too much for her mental well-being.  I mean, I spent 50 minutes last week with my therapist discussing my extreme guilt at forgetting to bring a bottle of wine to my friend's dog's birthday picnic; I can't even imagine how many years it would take to get over having to look at the clump of cells in my uterus via ultrasound just ONE MORE TIME before having an abortion.

If you are serious about improving women's mental and physical health, may I suggest some alternate solutions?  Here are a few just off the top of my head: 

1. Support a single-payer universal healthcare system that would provide preventative care, including family planning and pre-natal care for women, to all Americans.  Or at least get over Obamacare and admit it's here to stay.
2. Work to reduce the stigma of mental illness and work to ensure all Americans, including women, can get treatment for mental disorders such as depression, anxiety, etc. 
3. Partner with your fellow politicians to improve working conditions for women nationally, including equal pay, affordable day care options, and swift responses to workplace discrimination.  It would also be great to standardize a paid maternity leave for women to be with a new child and recover from having a fetus living off of them for 9 months.  Also, paternity leave for fathers and adoptive parents would be great.
4. Watch this movie.

 

Scotty-boy, I'm also very pleased that you want women to be able to make informed choices about their health!  YET ANOTHER AREA OF AGREEMENT BETWEEN US, OMG!  However, I could argue that a woman's difficult choice to end a pregnancy is NOT actually "informed" by an unnecessary and invasive procedure as she's definitely aware that she's pregnant and has made the decision to end that pregnancy.  I'm sure that you just haven't taken a lot of time to think all of this through, because if you and your friends in Texas and Ohio and all over the country had, you might have realized that if you want to "inform" and educate women, you should probably spend time and money and political capital on, you know, improving education (including sexual education) for all women and Americans rather than on making ladies look at a grainy image on a screen.  In fact, the areas you could focus on aren't even limited to the public schoolroom!  You could invest in educating women AND men (please, especially men) on domestic abuse and sexual violence and how to stop it!  You could invest in organizations that teach women about their bodies and how to care for them and respect them and demand respect for others!  You could hire someone to give a seminar on vaginas to every male (and maybe a some females) member of the GOP, since some of them think that vaginas have magical powers!  SO MUCH YOU COULD DO!  And, interestingly enough, improving the standing of women through work in healthcare, women's rights and working conditions, education, and public awareness would all have the trickle-down effect (AND I KNOW HOW YOU LOVE THAT, SCOTTY!) of reducing the need for abortions.  Because, you know what, I get that you don't like them, and that's ok...but Scott, I think, if we pull together, we could prevent so many of them while actually improving women's lives!  WIN-WIN, SCOTTY-POO!  

So yeah, I hope this is constructive commentary, S-Dawg, on our mutual points of concern regarding women's health.  However, I can't help but wonder if maybe the welfare of women isn't your main concern?  You do look like this in my dreams, remember?

God, you are terrifying.  I forgot because we were having such a good time earlier.

I find myself thinking that maybe this isn't about women's health and well-being at all.  It might not even be about SAVING THE BABIES, because, honestly?  Once they are born, you and your buddies don't seem that concerned with what happens to them, Scotty.  If you were, you might be spending more time and energy on all that stuff I listed above with the healthcare and education and shit rather than freaking out about what a woman does with her body. 

And ultimately, I am worried that this may be your actual problem, Scotty - what it is that women are doing with their bodies.  When you think about it, women haven't had much say in that up until a few decades ago. And now we do, and you know what?  I think that scares the ever-loving shit out of you, Scotty.  Most men are cool with women being, you know, full-fledged people now, but for some reason you and a lot of your friends are just freaking the hell out.  I mean, I guess it makes sense, because we are pretty great and that can be a lot to handle.  There are more of us in college than men now, and we are landing plum jobs and moving up the ladder just as quickly as our male counterparts in many instances.  We are waiting to get married and have children, or (gasp!) not getting married or having children at all!  We are having sex for recreational reasons with more than one partner and we are taking birth control while we are doing it.  Hell, we are even reading Fifty Shades of Grey.*   Basically, for the first time in human history, we are actualized and shit and you know what?  You. Can't. Handle. It.

You cannot handle this.

If this is the case, Scotty, then I'm not really sure where we go from here. If history is any indication, you will probably not see the light any time soon.  You will continue to believe that women cannot be trusted to make decisions about their own bodies and will simultaneously neglect to invest time and effort in initiatives that could assist women in living better and making (actually) more informed decisions about their bodies and health.   You will sit in Wisconsin with your parrot...er, advisors, and come up with even more draconian restrictions that will prevent women who need access to legal medical care from receiving the help they need.  You will continue to put the priorities of the rich and the corrupt over those of the middle class and the poor. You will continue to suck the big one. 

You would be pitiable, Scotty, if you didn't have so much power just now.  But you do, so all women can do is continue to run for, and win, some of the highest offices in the land, and filibuster insane legislation in badass sneakers, and be amazing Secretaries of State (and hopefully future Presidents), and generally just continue to freak you and your buddies the hell out.  Because, honestly?  I don't think you ready for this jelly, Scotty.

Sincerely, 

J-dawg

*P.S.  WRT Fifty Shades, I would be ok with you passing a bill to outlaw that book, or its reading.  Not on any moral grounds, but it's just really bad Twilight fanfiction and the guy smirks a lot and they drink a lot of wine and email.  So like, if you're going to pass a bunch of bullshit laws, you might as well make one of them mildly useful to humanity.